dear blank, please blank

This is a fun website where I think my previous post 'dear twilight fans' originated.  I'm loving it.
Dear blank, please blank.

You'll find gems like these there:

Dear automatic light sensors,

Thank you for making me feel like a wizard every time I walk into a room and say "lumos."

Sincerely, I swear the owl lost my letter.

Dear world,

Asking who's the "man" and who's the "woman" in a gay relationship is like going to a Chinese restaurant and asking which chopstick is the fork.

Sincerely, annoyed.

 

Dear silent fart,

Please don't stink, please don't stink, please don't stink. NOOOOO!

Sincerely, anonymous.

 

Dear government,

Maybe if you spent more money on public schools you wouldn't have to spend so much money on correction facilities.

Sincerely, just a thought.

 

Dear olive oil,

You're a dirty whore!

Sincerely, extra-virgin olive oil

 

Dear sports,

I just realized that you can buy trophies.

Sincerely, suddenly good at everything.

 

Dear elbow,

I didn't want to touch you anyway...

Sincerely, tongue.

 

Dear sidewalk designers,

Please make the tiles either a little longer or a little shorter. It's tough to not step on the cracks while still appearing to walk like a normal person.

Sincerely, OCD.

 

 

Ahhhhh...another busy day at the office!